As we were going through Jana’s glamour wardrobe, she pulled out a beg. I knew immediately there is something special in there as I could sense it from her face. She pulled out fashion yellow top and long skirt with fall leaves… This was her Mom’s outfit she used to wear. Jana wished to wear it at some of the fashion photos in memory of her loving Mom. Of course I said yes. I didn’t hesitated even for a second. If someone asks you such a thing, it is a privilege to do that for them. I knew I have to shoot this set outdoors, connecting with nature… , quiet and calm. Cristina (makeup artist) and I could feel the sadness as we photographed Jana in the woods.
This last set will take us back to fashion, crazy, funny, edgy.. and I don’t know what else. Jana came to me and explained me that she has SYNESTHESIA. What is it?
Synesthesia is a condition in which one sense (for example, hearing) is simultaneously perceived as if by one or more additional senses such as sight. Another form of synesthesia joins objects such as letters, shapes, numbers or people’s names with a sensory perception such as smell, color or flavor.
Pretty simply explained, Jana sees numbers, names, alphabet and other things all in different colors. Let’s look at her Days of the week: Monday (white), Tuesday (blue), Wednesday (yellow), Thursday (brown), Friday (white to light blue grey), Saturday (blue) and Sunday (yellow). Pretty interesting isn’t it?
I wanted to have fun with it so we picked all kinds of fashion outfits with different colors, including a bright pink wig. I admit this set was a challenge for me as well, as I didn’t want it to look tacky… I wanted to come up with fashion and edgy style…. well, you be the judge if we got that right…
Lastly…. I have to share a letter I just received from Jana…. I cannot say enough thank you for such a kind words… thank you again. It has been a real pleasure to photograph you….:)
“Dear Zdenka…
I’m keep writing and deleting. I am looking for the right words. Hopefully I will be able to find those perfect ones to describe my thoughts. Last few years has been for me very challenging. I have never cared about myself as much as last couple of months. I think, you motivated me the most. With your words, your life, your experience. I adore your determination and priorities, your lust to perfection. I have never thought about myself. My whole adulthood was about to help other people. Any kind of way. Possible or impossible, many times against the concrete wall. But only for a reason to run away from myself. I’m the person who don’t quite cope with balance. Extreme is what I love. However, I felt satisfied in my heart, I wasn’t satisfied with my own “I”
As a woman. I have never been spoiled woman. I have never heard the words from man who would adore my body. Or had admirer who would go crazy for me. I know, sounds kind of silly, but we are women and we want to be treated like that, each of us. I learned to be alone with my truly dream to be important for someone, or bring a joy for eyes as a lady Marylin Monroe on the poster hanged in kids room, used to for my brother when he was in his youth age:). I dreamed that people would like me as I was but truly when you have 130 kilos, it’s pretty damn hard. People judge, criticise… No chance for know the heart without diamond gate.
Today, I’m extremely grateful to you Zdenka, in believing me, for giving me a chance to open my heart, which is full of fun, all kinds of desires and unbelievable lust to act in front of camera. You may catch each moment of my thoughts, happiness or sadness, false or honesty, you may catch it and stay there for ever. You gave me a chance to find my woman “I”.
I truly want to continue and express myself to the extreme. But for some reason I wasn’t able to get there. These moments, hours with you, stay in my heart with me as the most treasured memories of my life.
Hugs,
Your friend Janu”
